Who Am I

I am a shadow on the glass. A disruption of the reflection of pampas grass and oak trees gliding through the horizon. I am lost in a word that is unkown to me yet keeps me confided. I am suffocating. I am an unmarried housewife. I am lost. I do not know who I am. I am resolved. I am drinking the wine of my fathers. My father who is lost to me. I am not here, but I am here. Trying to figure out who I am. Lost in a small town, yet I came from a small town surrounded by a city. I do not belong. But I think I am trying to belong and then I am asked, why are you not happy. He gives me all that he can give and yet it is not enough. I am alone. But I do not try and find others like me because I am scared. and so I stay alone. beating myself for being less than I once was. I am gone. I am a shadow.

1st 2 weeks + Some

First 2 weeks of schools have been interesting. I'm commuting between De Anza & Foothill Colleges which is weird because i feel like I belong to neither...

I've been spending most of my focus on my chem class cuz I thought that was going to be hard and I've aced the first few quizzes, my math class on the other hand is tougher than I thought it would be. Gonna have to change some note taking practices and spend more time studying the math...

Let's hope I can keep a balance.

That and looking for a job is taking up a lot of my time too...oh ya and then there's facebook....

ackkkkk

My Poor Baby

Sienna sprained her shoulder this week, I feel so bad for her. She's so sad cuz all she want's to do is go outside and play, play, play. So instead we just "rub the belly" and she likes that too.

First Day of School

I'm a bit nervous and getting over the flu, so I hope I don't have a sneezing fit in class and embarrass myself, which no doubt I will eventually do by walking into a door or tripping over my feet or something...

wish me luck

Maiden Voyage

So we took the Beautiful New Kona Lisa Supreme Road Bike out on her "first" ride New Years Day during the Slo/Vintage ride in tribute to Troy Natwick.

Although I only lasted about 45 minutes, she finally rides like a smooth rolling beauty. 

It took us several months to put her together and get her just "right" coupled with my 6 month hietaus, and she's finally almost perfect: (just needs a lighter wheelset, but school books come first...)

I love being a part of Velo Bella, THANK YOU

(Pic to follow when power is restored) 

Bypassing the System

SO I hit a snag in my new school career, already, and it hasn't even started.

Seems like the Dean of Math & Science @ De Anza didn't like my excuse for not passing Pre-Calculus B my 2nd time around over 7 years ago when I petitioned it last month...

See I need to re-take it this coming quarter in order for my schedule to run smoothly for me to transfer Fall '09. But nope, a "N/P" and a "D" on my records are holding me up...

Problem is I tried to get all wordy in my petition when I should have just been straight to the point: I never went to class! I was 20-23 had 2 jobs and didn't need the credits anyway; just kept registering for it cuz I wanted to take the class (yes I'm a geek and love math) but instructors tend to not pass you when you are overly absent...oops.

SO, looks like for now, until I can deal with the dean when school re-opens, I've sighed up to take it at Foothill.

My first quarter back is gonna be crazy, classes at De Anza, Foothill, and possibly Cabrillo...

Anyone care to join me?

babblebabblebabble

I know I need to post an update, but I've been knee deep in babysitting and holiday preparing so let me think of something not so lame as this one and get back to you soon:-)


for now:


1) I'm really doing the school thing and it's a bit scarrrrry. I start in January with some night classes if I can convince the dean of math & sciences that my once lazy lame butt isn't such anymore and will apply herself (which when I do usually means overachiever). This becomes apparent in my transcripts when you compare my physics & astronomy classes to say my english classes which I had to repeat twice cuz I hated english classes (probably not the case anymore?)...hmmm I wonder....(except don't count this post, I'm tired and grammar, composition, artistic style, flair, goes right out the window)


2) now that I'm not working, i find myself so busy all the time. Why is that? my house is even more of a disaster than when I was working my 50+ hour work weeks and I just don't know what to do...


3) upside to being 'home' I've discovered the food network! actually, the only show I watch on it is the Everyday Italian, absolutely amazing! Brilliant! and she's so quirky & she reminds me of me! Plus, and this is a big plus, she always make dishes without tomatoes! at least 1 dish each show I can actually eat! YAY. you don't understand how excited I am to have a female chef to look up to like this! (btw, Ana's loving it too, I've been cooking up a storm, it's been bringing back memories from my culinary education and it's so fun to play with food again!)


4) speaking of which, I have now lost 22 pounds, yay for me! I have another 13 to go and I'll finally be back down to my average weight. I'm so looking forward to getting back into my favorite jeans! And I know I'll get there cuz my body has finally told me it's done with this whole crazy over-eating craze I was on the last year and a half. Unfortunately, the way my body reacts to things, I need to loose the weight first before I can start working out again, otherwise I'll just go straight to muscle and then I'll get stuck again like I have been. My poor pretty bike stares me in the face very day but I really do have to loose the weight this way first, I know my body and that's just how it is. I'm hoping by February I can get back on the bike for good.


well, it's late and this post ran wayyyyy too long. hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the crispiness of the evening air, I love this time of year, now I just need some snow!!!


-mm

Career Change

I'm gonna need the Canuck's help to get through nasty chemmmmmmmmmm....

Figured out 1 Problem

So I figured out one problem to my freak-out. And now I’m looking for yet another job.

If you know of a any position opening, please let me know…

Next One on the Hit List

EnviroSports Stinson Beach 7-Mile Trail Run

This Saturday @ 9 a.m.

Training for this run has consisted of joining a gym, working with a weight trainer, and pulling around a bob sled filled with 100 lbs weights, rope tied to one end and a weight belt to the end of that, I lovingly call it the

“dragon sled-o-master.”

Ahhh what fun.

We’ve also been running at Almaden Quicksilver and Castle Rock which are my absolute favorite 2 of 3 places to run in the Bay Area. Haven’t been running as much as I thought I would, the weight training is playing a bigger role in my prep and I hope it works out. I’ve also found that the new meds I’m on have decreased my appetite which is finally helping in weight loss. Problem is though, there are times when I’m not eating at all, and that’s posing a problem. So I’m trying to work out the kinks.

For now I’ll stick with protein bars and recovery drinks as back up. And those new Luna moons are soooo yummy, I’m gonna start packing those on my long runs as well.

Wish me luck!